Previous England leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the illness.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is definitely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his current health, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I handle situations differently, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the problem, a series of scans indicated nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience poorly
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I continue to be capable of performing anything and everything. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can develop swiftly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of detection, as swallowing and inhalation become more difficult.
Treatment can only slow worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Impact
Talking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started removing the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody said the priority was remaining in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been really blessed that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Sportsman Association
Elite athletes are excessively impacted by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% greater than in the general population.
It is considered that by limiting the O2 accessible and causing harm to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous training can activate the disease in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Career
Moody, who won 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his brave, relentless approach to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a training equipment and started participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the set piece in the crucial phase of play, creating a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing field goal.
Backing System
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a few other ex- colleagues about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that kind of affection and recognition that people are there is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your passion your profession, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a period with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will desire to support in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
